Divorced Living Just Above Broke
By Lucas Webb
Ever been in a situation that’s so absurd you just had to stop and laugh at yourself for a moment? Mine came about a year after my divorce when I found myself rummaging through the seats of my car trying to find some money: quarters, nickels, dimes; anything I could use for that night’s meal. Considering not so long ago I had lived in a $300k home, been an elected official, college educated, took vacations, ate well, lived well–yet there I was with my fingers stuck between the seats of my car blindly trolling the depths only to feel some half petrified french fry and something I’ve yet to identify. In that moment the comedic value of my new found status was certainly not lost on me. So this is what it means to live just above broke?–Have you been there?If you’re finding yourself in a similar situation with none of your assets or investments having survived your divorce, or your money dwindling after your divorce; know that this financial situation will certainly be temporary so long as you have the right plan of action or more importantly have the right mindset moving forward. Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Embrace Your New Found Financial Status: Lifestyles are temporary and changeable. Don’t get defeated by it, rise up above it. Come to the mindset that if I have to live this way then I’m gonna embrace it and thrive in it. So what if you have to order from the $2 dollar menu instead of the regular menu or go out once a month now instead of every weekend. Sure, you may have to rent a tiny apartment for a while but who cares, right? We all remember living in an apartment in our 20’s? It wasn’t that bad, was it? Matter a fact it was probably down right fun! So embrace your current situation with a new mindset of growth and renewal, not one of defeat.
2. Know Your Income: Write down your current income stream per month. Total it all up and know that figure well. Think in terms of constantly adding to this post divorce income in any way possible. Part time jobs, seasonal/night jobs, online opportunities, cleaning houses, mowing yards, handy work; anything you can do to make an extra buck here or there can go a long way towards speeding your financial recovery. Remember it usually takes a middle class earner 3 to 5 years to fully recover financially from a divorce. So start adding to your income as soon as possible.
3. List All Your Expenses: Get a handle on your expenses; this is key. First, write down all your expenses: bills, payments, child support, entertainment; everything that comes out of your checking or wallet each month. It’s so important to write everything down so you can see it. Many people are surprised by just how much an unaccounted for $5 or $10 dollars here or there can add up to monthly. Once you have your expenses tallied, do some really simple math by subtracting your monthly income minus your monthly expenses. Be honest with yourself here, if those numbers are extremely close or worse upside down, its cutting time. Anything that’s not a necessity must go! Do you really need that country club membership, extra pair of shoes, or that motorcycle your Ex wouldn’t allow you to have? Until you’ve attained at least 10% positive income over expenses, you must make sacrifices.
4. Start Saving: No truer statement has ever been made than a penny saved is a penny earned! Once you’ve cut the extra non-essential expenses out of your life, now it’s time to live smarter. Cut those coupons, shop those discount stores; don’t drive when you can walk, download those savings apps; sacrifice name brands for generic; water for soda; whatever you have to do, do it! You’ll be surprised how much income is actually earned when you simply start saving.
5. Know the Golden Rule: The golden rule of being divorced is never turn down help or a free meal! If you’re lucky enough to have great friends or family living close by, now’s the time to accept their generosity no matter how proud you are. Trust me, going through a divorce will show you who your real friends are. During your post divorce recovery period, never be too proud to accept their help. Certainly I’m not advocating becoming a bum, but on occasion if a meal is offered or a friend offers to pick up your kids from school, learn to accept this help. Just know that their heart is in the right place and their motives are wanting to see you get back on your feet as soon as possible. One day soon you’ll be in a position to return the favor, but for now let them have their turn.
Always remember there’s light at the end of the divorced tunnel! Just keep moving towards it. Don’t worry about what other people think. I was once laughed at in the checkout lane when I used $15 dollars worth of dimes to pay for a few groceries. As much as this hurts your pride to have to live this way, know that the very ones laughing at you now would have to do the exact same thing if the situation were reversed. Remember, you are not alone and you’re certainly not the first person to ever be hurt financially from a divorce! So embrace it and learn to live just above broke. BTW, as far as those dimes I got laughed at for, look under the seat of your car- just where the front seat is bolted to the floor board-Cha Ching!…Just Sayin:)
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