How To Approach Someone You’ve Never Met
BY Les B.
If you’re like me, approaching someone new has always been a very difficult thing for me to do. I tend to debate whether to walk over to them or not, I take one step closer; then two steps back–call myself a name, then in the end just totally wuss out and let that person walk right on by. Then I torture myself all week with thinking they could have been the one. So if this sounds like you, here are a few suggestions that might help you meet someone new without having to do a cold approach:
Use Social Media– Assuming that you are aware of this person’s name or find out their name, then sending a harmless friend request on social media is a perfect way of introducing yourself to them without fear of rejection or embarrassment. Plus this gives both of you a chance to learn a little something about the other through posts or pics and hopefully he/she will become intrigued enough to accept your friend request. If this happens, then it’s a simple matter of sending a thank you back to them for accepting the request or commenting on a post/pic or two and then you’re off from there. If they don’t accept your request then move on and try again with someone else. Meeting people is a numbers game. Never fret over someone who is not open or willing to meet someone new.
Use The Old High School Approach by Asking a Friend all About Them First. If you want to meet someone new find out first who might be a mutual friend. Use this friend to tell you all about this person–their history, who they are, where they work, come from, how many kids, married, single, divorced 8 times, crazy, etc… Finding a mutual friend will also serve as someone who can introduce the two of you so it doesn’t seem so awkward or as random as just walking up to them cold—same way we used to ask about those we liked back in high school before all this social media stuff—remember those days? Also the thing you can always count on with this approach is that your mutual “friend” will certainly go over to the person you’re interested in and spill the beans that you were asking about them. Whether this helps or hurts you—mission accomplished, now you’re on their radar. Hey, it might be old school, but it still works! (Don’t act like you’ve never done this.)
Find a Common Place to “Bump” into Them Frequently. Since we agree that it’s near impossible to just randomly walk up to a stranger you’ve never met before and start a conversion without appearing creepy or worse; try to find something or somewhere the two of you have in common and be there when they are. Let’s say he/she does an aerobics class for example, or whatever the event or case may be; then become a member or involved with the same gym/club/group/event and have that in common with this person—then meeting them and striking up a conversation will be easy. On that note, you should really join groups, clubs, volunteer, etc..anyway simply in order to meet new people and open yourself up to having things in common with “like minded” people. This way meeting new people will be a snap and will take little to no effort at all. Perhaps they’ll even make an effort to want to meet you first.
It’s a Very Big World Out There. Never confine yourself to just one area and never beat yourself up for not having the “balls” just to go up to someone and introduce yourself randomly. Most people are rightfully annoyed by this “salesmen approach.” (…and yes it is a salesmen approach because you are trying to sell them on YOU!) Naturally most people will put up their guard instantly when being forced to decided on the spot about you. Trust me, women or men who are “keepers” would rather meet someone within the norms of an introduction or having a common reason to be approached or to speak, instead of just a “rape meet” on the street cold. To me, this approach seems to be a little narcissistic or shows complete psychopathic or desperate behavior. (Yes, I know they do this in the movies…but if a guy/girl dangles themselves off a Ferris wheel in order to meet you or climbs up a trellis in order to get to your window ledge; it makes for a great movie but in the real world, most everyone would be calling the cops to get a restraining order against this nut job.) But that’s just my opinion as this approach has never really worked out for me since I have a shy reserve personally and we must stay true to ourselves. I think the one you’re interested in will appreciate getting to see the real you from the very first meeting instead of some cocky representative “playa” who seems confident enough to step up cold, but what happens as time goes by? It will certainly be impossible to live up to his/her perspective of you, if you’re not really like this inside. After all, if you can’t be you in a relationship, then why bother?
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